CC: Diarrhea

Me: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Oh, about two months now.

Me: Are you losing weight?

Patient: Well, no, I seem to be fine.

Me: How often are you having this diarrhea?

Patient: Once and sometimes twice in a day.

Me: Do you get cramps? Pain?

Patient: No, just I have to go.

Me: Is it watery?

Patient: No, not even very runny, just awfully soft.

Me: Any blood or odd colours?

Patient: … er…. it’s just a medium brown.

Me: Are you particularly gassy?

Patient: Oh, I pass the odd gas, but not terrible.

Me: So, to recap, you’re having soft, medium brown stools one to two times a day with no pain or urgency. That doesn’t sound like diarrhea.

Patient: Well, no, I suppose, but I usually have one big hard stool a week.

Me: Has your diet changed at all?

Patient: Not really.

Me: You live around here, right?

Patient: Yes.

Me: You grow your own food?

Patient: Well, I garden a bit.

Me: What’s good this year?

Patient: Oh, well, the beans and the squash have been excellent. Not to mention the cabbage. And the cauliflower! And….

Me: I think we’ve discovered what’s going on…..