“…. does not constitute an emergency on my part.”
Back in the ED, with a strong component of sports medicine.
Things I would have thought were obvious, but clearly aren’t:
- Broken toes are not an emergency. Buddy-tape them, wear flat shoes, take ibuprofen. Unless it’s horribly angulated, or it’s sticking out of the skin, or it happens at work, or you’re worried it’s gonna fall off, or you’re diabetic.
- Don’t tell me you have quit smoking when I can smell the smoke on your breath.
- A sore throat is not going to get you any of the following: a work note, out of an exam, percocets, or antibiotics. With the rarest of exceptions.
- I won’t find it as funny as you do that you did whatever you did because you were drunk. Trust me.
- Your child who is asymptomatic and afebrile with no injuries, eating well and voiding well, but who is teething and therefore screaming her head off is not my problem.
- Don’t tell me you are taking some antibiotics you had left over from last time unless you want me to yell at you. Because I will.
- If you and your sister have different opinions about how to care for your aging mum, that is not my problem.
- Unless your shoulder is thoroughly buggered, you really don’t want shoulder surgery. And possibly even then.
- Tell me if you feel like puking or passing out while I am sewing up your wound. Give me a chance to keep things clean.
- Being an offensive linebacker is bad for your health. In particular your knees.