Shamelessly purloined from The Brown Stuff:
“You should start out dead and get it out of the way.
That way, you wake up in a retirement home feeling gradually better every day.
You get kicked out eventually for being too healthy. You go and collect your pension, then when you start work after a decade or two you get given a gold watch on your first day.
You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, smoke, party and are generally promiscuous and you get ready for school.
You eventually become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby and then…
You spend the last 9 months of your life floating peacefully in luxurious, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service, larger living space every day.
And then, you finish off as an orgasm.”